How Can We Say 'No'?

Women generally have a difficult time saying 'no' when asked to do something.  We take on more than we can handle because we feel guilty saying 'no.'  So if we are 'yes women', it should be easy to say 'yes' to God, right?  Au contraire.  It's really difficult to say 'yes' to God sometimes, many times. But I've joined this amazing new Bible study that has drawn me in from page one and I desire with my heart to be a woman who says 'yes' to God.  When I embarked on the first chapter of this study, I got more than I bargained for and was able to dig deep already.  I think that is because God has prepared my heart and He's been patiently waiting.  The past few years have been some crazy ones;  some bad crazy then some good crazy.  My heart, I will admit, has been carefully guarded.  I don't want to be hurt any more.  I'm scared.
 
One question posed in the study asked what holds me back from a deeper relationship with God.  Fear, that's what. Fear obstructs my faith.  Because so many ugly things out of my control have happened in my life, I desire complete control over all circumstances.  Of course, it's an illusion.  None of us has complete control over anything.  But we like to think if we can just keep it all controlled, we'll be okay.  What if we didn't control it all and let GOD do it?  Wouldn't we be okay anyway?  After all, He knows everything, He sees the big picture, and has far more information to base His decisions on that us mere mortals have.  He's much better qualified to control my life than I am and I'm finally getting on board with that.  Trying to control and micromanage everything feeds my fears and frankly, is exhausting.

God wants only good for us.  He loves us and wants us to prosper, be happy, be joyful.  I do need to let go, relinquish that semblance of control and let Him have my 'junk';  my worries, fears, hurts, and tears. He can have it all and much more freely turn all that junk into beauty, something He's been working on for awhile.  I have prayed during my Bible study time for the Lord to take these burdens and this time, help me to let Him KEEP the burdens of fear, worry, anxiety.  I want this deeper relationship with God. I want to hear Him speak more and just be still.  I want these things and to gain them, I am saying "Yes!"